Every relationship is a sacred dance. There are moments when partners are so aligned that they move as one. At other times, they struggle over who is
leading and step on each other’s toes. Peace and success in life require us to be masters of relationships.
Several essential principles support healthy relationships. Integrate these basic tenets into your view of yourself and the people in your life, and you will
experience a renewed sense of freedom and optimism in your relationships.
1. We are responsible for our own emotional life.
If we are to experience comfortable, nourishing relationships, we have to relinquish the idea that someone else can make us feel a certain way. If we
hold another person responsible when we are upset, we surrender our power, which makes us less capable of creating the outcome we seek. If there is
something that is lacking in one of your core relationships, cast off the role of victim and commit to creating the love you deserve.
2. Healthy relationships are based upon a deep rooted conviction in equality.
Ego-rooted relationships reinforce insecurities. When one person criticizes, demeans, or asserts authority over another, it may temporarily improve the
self-esteem of one by lowering another’s, but this assumption of power is always vulnerable. Relationships based upon mutual respect liberate energy that
becomes available for creativity.
This principle is of particular importance when the relationship is between an adult and a child. It is essential for the parent to recognize the child’s
equality on the level of the soul. If this intention is present throughout children’s upbringing, they will develop a sense of dignity and respect that will serve
them throughout their lives.
3. Conscious communication builds nurturing relationships.
Determine what you need and ask for it. Teach the people in your family to identify their needs and express themselves in ways that increase the
likelihood that their needs will be met.
Show your children how to get needs met without resorting to emotional escalation. Your behavior provides the most compelling lesson.
4. Give what you seek.
Human beings have four basic needs in a relationship: attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance. We give attention by making eye contact. We
express affection by connecting physically with sensitivity and permission. We demonstrate appreciation by telling and showing people that they add value to
our lives. We provide acceptance by cultivating an internalconversation of recognizing ourselves in the other and the other in ourselves.